Do you believe in a soulmate? Twin Flame? Do you believe relationships are fated? Do you believe that they are serving a higher purpose?

Let’s talk.

“Life is a filter reflecting your innermost thoughts.”

We are never drawn by accident to those relationships we tend to give names such as twin flame, a soul contract, soulmate, the one and so on. The intimate relationship serves a deep unconscious psychological need. According to John Gottman, what we are looking for in a relationship is not love, it is familiarity. It is not a coincidence that we bond with the people who carry similar unconscious blueprint that is carried forward from early life experiences.

As children, sometimes exposure to love is a chaotic experience. This is one of the reasons why most people are stuck in toxic relationships because the familiarity we seek is often destructive. In many cases, as the relationship deepens, people tend to suppress and withdraw not to rock the boat and in some cases, match the behavior that drives the chaotic dynamics, and most of the time, we try to change the other person because of the change we deeply crave.

The difficult relationship you are in now is the mirror of your unresolved internal conflicts in ways you cannot see. The hard truth is, everyone is your mirror. Every relationship is the representation of your inner relationship and beliefs staring right back at you, including the abusive relationships. At the root of all, you will find a severe lack of self-worth.

The conditioned childhood blueprint becomes the shadow projected in intimate relationships. The wounded inner child plays out, again and again, seeking acceptance, validity, and attention, desperately holding onto irrational, self-destructive repetitive relationship patterns reinforcing the emotional deficit and rejection.

As Rumi once said, “Your task is not to seek for love, merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” External events mirror the internal state. Since our experience of life is an experience of thought, our predominant beliefs dictate reality. There are no exceptions in the cosmic flow. You are the master of your own perceived reality.

Perhaps believing in the higher purpose of the dysfunctional relationships may offer comfort, however, meaningful relationships don’t come from fate, destiny or a supreme being. Meaningful relationships come from within, come from our attitude, come from our willingness to accept our own shadows and letting go of the superstition and practice consistently investing in the relationships that matter. How can we love the other when the love within is confused, conflicted and lost?

Love and Gratitude.

“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.”

I’ve always wanted to write about “Resistance” since this concept came into my awareness around a few years ago and resistance kept winning over until now.

So why now? You ask…

Recently we’ve kicked off another online course with our team along with over 80 students from all around the globe, and it’s very timely to talk about resistance as I watch the resistance unleash itself onto our students whom will undergo a transformative shift in just short 8 weeks.

According to Steven Pressfield resistance arises from within, a force of nature, an engine of destruction, programmed to prevent us from doing the important work. I also experienced that resistance’s goal is to prevent us from making life-changing decisions, following our passion, stepping into our Soul’s calling and speaking our truth.

Its target is the epicenter of our being: our genius, our Soul, the unique and priceless gift we were put on Earth to give that no one else has but us. The more important a call to action is, the more resistance we feel towards pursuing it. Resistance is like the Terminator, reduce it to a single cell, and it will continue to attack. It never sleeps, resistance is the enemy within. Resistance is not out to get you personally, it doesn’t know who you are and doesn’t care. Everyone experiences resistance. We feed it with power by our fear.

Resistance by definition is self-sabotage, it kicks in when we seek to pursue a calling. And just when you overcome the resistance, you may find that those close to you begin acting strange and the entire family will enter into the resistance battle with emotional force to sabotage you.

Resistance comes in many many ways; The resistance of victimhood, self-medication, self-dramatization, procrastination, self-doubt, isolation…We often believe that our obstacles are the external unfortunate circumstances, but it’s not, it’s our inner force of resistance creating external obstacles. The only way to concur the resistance is to master the fear. Resistance hates it when we turn pro. We come into this world with a specific journey. We have a job to do, a calling to enact, a Self to become.

Profoundly verbalized incredible wisdom by Steven Pressfield from his book, The War of Art.

Love and Gratitude.